A trip to my village

Hello guys! I am back…this time I am back with the story of small trip to my village. My village is around 200 kilometers away from my home i.e. where I live right now and it took almost three and a half hours to reach there by our car. We often used to go there when I was a kid. But I haven’t been there for 6 or 7 years. So I really was excited to see how it looks now.

The moment I entered the village I found some of things very similar as I last saw them…no change…like the same unpaved mud road which has a watercourse on one side and big deep furrows on the other side. The first thing that I remembered from my childhood memories was this road. It scared me both the times. But other things were changed….not completely, but I found them slightly different. Like the bushes were overgrown undermining the beauty of the watercourse. The small bridge over the watercourse was cracked. Everything appeared smaller than before except the paddy field. I love the paddy field. I used to play i-spy there with other kids. It used to be my favorite place as a kid too. This time also I spent most of my time looking at the beautiful green stretch. I have taken some shots..   

 

Beautiful na. I felt so good to be there…to see all of it again. As I am not a kid anymore and i can't go around and play in the field…so I missed my childhood. But I am grateful to be there once again.

   

update

Hey guys!! I hope you people are not bored of my sad, monotonous blog. Actually it’s just a coincidence that all my posts are little upsetting. From now onwards, i would try to update my blog with happy things happening in my life. Till then stay tuned...thanks for bearing with me

A Tough Week!

This week wasn’t easy. Unexpected things happened. My friend Ed stopped talking to me. We had some argument. And we mutually came to this decision that we should end this. Actually it was his decision, to which I agreed. I didn’t have any other option. But when he said we should end this I didn’t ask him, what was he asking me to end. I mean I don’t know if he just wanted me to end chatting or talking forever. All this made me very upset because no friend ends everything just because of a petty argument. I thought I would never talk to him again since he had made his mind up about it. I followed it for 4 days. But then I started missing him like anything. I broke all my vows of trying not to talk to him. I just could not control myself and did things that I very well knew I should not do. I knew that if I will press this button then the mail would be sent. And then a blank mail was sent to him. GOSH. How could I be so immature? Well this was not the only thing I did. Next thing was a call at 3 am. Imagine. And when he received my call, I disconnected it. I was expecting him to call me back. But he didn’t. So obviously, I was feeling bad. I didn’t know what to do after that. I stayed awake till 4am and then I slept. I know, life is not so easy sometimes…but this phase will pass soon and I will be over it. Toughest thing is to take the right decision…whether to hold or let go.

What Have I Done!!!

I don’t know why is my life full of so many tragedies. Well life is always simple until I interfere in. Actually I love to complicate my life. I am not one of those who give up at any stage but I am the one who is hell bent to make things worse for myself. And this is what I hate about myself (my not giving up attitude).

This post is about my new friend Ed.

Things were going simple until one day when I decided to have some online chat with strangers. There I met this guy, Ed. Firstly, I thought its some 30+ guy who’s got nothing to do with this materialistic world and who has taken birth on this planet just to serve poor people. Well this was his first impression. But this impression didn’t last for even a single day as later i found out that this a  26yo normal person with a caring heart and who is very much like me (loves English movies…listens to songs…eats pizza etc. etc.). We have lot of similarities…it’s a long list…so I can’t mention it here. Since I really thought this guy to be very genuine, polite, chivalrous and…, so I started chatting with him regularly. Later we exchanged our numbers and we started talking on phone for hours. I used to stay awake for whole night just to talk to him. I really loved talking to him as he is a very decent guy and never forgets his limits. He is so friendly and open that he became friends with my friends. He came very close to me in a very short span of time. But during all these days, we had forgotten that we were just friends and we were not supposed to give so much time to each other. I mean, when you know that you are not planning for any such relationship or any commitments and you know that the guy has so much potential that you could get attracted and ultimately you could hurt the sentiments then it’s better to avoid him. But then…who cares!!! I kept on talking to him in spite of knowing everything. And then I started feeling those vibes. The L vibes. I knew something was coming from his side, but I didn’t want it to come at all. Because our friendship was at stake and I didn’t want to lose a good friend. I must confess that I have secretly admired him and I too was attracted towards him. But then I knew the restrictions of our relationship too. And it was just an attraction…which I knew would fade away with time. Well, I kept on complicating his and my life as I kept on talking to him like always…thinking that everything would be fine.

But I know things are not going to be fine again. But he really is a nice friend. I just wish us to be friends forever. But lets see what happens next...

Waiting..!!

I have never understood this feeling, the feeling which people generally have when they are deeply in love. Well how would I understand, I have never felt that way for any guy. It’s not that I didn’t have any crush, I had many but none of them made me feel so. But I know this feeling. I have felt this. Everytime I listen to my favorite romantic songs, I have the very same feeling. Like whenever I listen to “the wind beneath my wings”…I feel so good, so positive…like I am in love. Even some of the scenes of some romantic movies have made me feel same way. Sometimes the feelings are so strong that I want to have someone in my life…to feel the same way for someone.  But its no so easy to have the right person in your life. Well until that right person comes, I would be waiting and listening to romantic songs. J

I messed it up!

 I am a person who keeps messing up with my not-so-simple life; you all must have seen that in my last post…but that’s not the only case. I can write a complete book on this outstanding quality of mine and its consequences. Most of the times, the consequences have been against me.  So here is another one.

It was my genetics practical exam. There was a lot of commotion in the lab as our teacher had no control over the students. Before I start with the real thing, I must tell you about this teacher.  My genetics teacher had no knowledge about genetics. He didn’t even know the spelling of ‘pink’. He had an accent which was quite funny. I think he got an opportunity to teach in a university through reservation quota. I really don’t want to make his fun. I am telling all this so that you can get the exact plot. Well, once this teacher caught one of my friends lying to him.  So obviously, we were not in his good books. So, on this practical exam day, every student was hundred percent sure to score an ‘A’ grade in this subject, so was I. We were not supposed to do much in this exam. He gave us a microscope and a few slides; we had to just identify the slides. I along with my friend and a classmate were allotted the same microscope. We all came to the same result, after watching each of the slides minutely under the microscope (it wasn’t tough to identify them, even the dumbest student would have identified). This teacher was going to every student’s desk with a sheet of paper on which he was giving grades. Then he came to ours and asked us to identify them. We all gave the same answers. At the end, he said “identify it again, you all are wrong” and then he was gone. We knew we had identified correctly, but still, we started off again. When we were done with identifying and taking help (in other words, cheating) from our other friends, we called him again to our desk.  But again, again he said “identify again” and went away. Till then most of the students were done with the practs, they stayed there just to help the other dumb students (I, for sure, was not among the dumbs). That’s what raised my temper. And I shouted “this teacher is so nuts...does he know anything, who on earth has assigned him…he doesn’t even know the spelling of pink” unaware of the fact that he was standing right behind me. L. When I turned back, I found him standing right in front of me. My friend and the other classmate were like what-have-you-done.  After hearing all those “good” words about him, he shot a frightful glance at me and immediately went away.  And then started my hysterical laugh. OMG!! I still remember that he was watching us from a distance. But that too didn’t stop me from laughing; instead it added fuel to the fire. Actually that’s one my problems, once I start laughing its too difficult to stop (and I laugh at most unexpected places…). After that incident whenever I used to see that teacher, I just couldn’t stop myself from laughing hysterically. I knew he won’t just let it go.

Later when my grade-sheet came, I saw a ‘C’ among all ‘A’s.  He took his revenge by giving me and my friend a ’C’. I don’t know about the other classmate. I didn’t care much about the grade, as it didn’t affect my percentile much. But my grade-sheet didn’t look good with that “C”.

I wanted to curl up and die!

 I am here to share things from my personal life. So here is one of the most embarrassing stories of my life. This story goes back to the days when I was in college. I took part in a personality competition and this was the first time when I had taken part in any such competition. I knew the rules but I didn’t know that the participants were expected to be good speakers (which I am not) and open and comfortable with adult stuff. Among friends, I don’t have any problem in talking about adult stuff but in public…it was a big no no from my side. So certainly, it gave me a shock. In the beginning of the competition I didn’t know that I have overestimated myself by participating. Well in the beginning I didn’t even know that its going to turn out like this.

The competition was divided into three rounds. In the first round we were supposed to introduce ourselves. Well that was a cake-walk as I knew we had to give our introduction in the beginning of the show, so I had a small impressive intro ready for that. In the first round there were not many spectators, which was another reason dat it all went smoothly.

Then came the second round.  Second round was a rapid fire round.  It was like any person’s name would be called upon randomly and that person would go on the stage to answer the questions. Finally my turn came. I was called upon the stage and I went…until I reached the stage I couldn’t sense that the whole place was full. I mean it was over crowded. It was so damn full dat from stage I wasn’t able to see where were my friends sitting. And that was the moment when I felt that I am gonna freeze. That sight was terrible. Well, the anchor started off with his first question…”which one would you prefer watching: Mtv roadies or splitsvilla”. I answered “splitsvilla”, without thinking (though, I like roadies more). He asked me ”why”? I said “because thats the only show where girls also get a chance”, again without thinking. Then there was another “why” from his side. And this was it. I had nothing in my mind. I went blank. I think he also knew my state of mind, so he jumped to another question. I don’t know what happened after that. I could see thousands of eyes staring at me…finally, I was asked to say a few lines on a “ball”. IMAGINE. Well, my few lines were: “a ball is round in shape. It is used for playing. Boys and girls both play with balls. Compared to girls, boys enjoy playing with balls more” and some more stupid lines. I could hear people laughing loudly, which made me feel weaker. I immediately stepped off the stage and came running back to my friends. But it was not the end of my humiliation. The main part was yet to come.

Third round was like a debate. A boy and a girl were paired up. They both were given the same topic. One had to speak in the favour of the topic and the other had to speak against it. The topics were provided 5 or 10 minutes before the actual debate. My topic was “slam bam thank you ma’am”. Well the interesting part or you can say ‘the cause of my humiliation’ was that neither did I nor any of my friends know its meaning. I started panicking. I wanted to run away from there but then I thought what if somebody caught me (that would have been even more embarrassing). Then my friends suggested me to go on stage, let the guy speak first and try to interpret what the topic is all about. At that time I knew what is going to happen with me on stage.  Well, once again I was called upon. I seriously was trembling with fear cause I knew my fate. The anchor read our topic loudly and asked us to start speaking. The guy started speaking and he was speaking like an orator. My gosh! I was trying hard to listen to what he way saying but I couldn’t get a word. My head started spinning. My heart was thumping like anything. I wanted to curl up and die. But there was no escape. I had to face all this. The guy was done. And then the whole crowd along with that guy shifted its gaze towards me and was waiting for me to speak. But I didn’t say a word…. I was totally out of my mind. I could hear people mocking, deriding and booing. I knew I am going to collapse any moment. Finally the anchor came for my rescue. He said “time is up”. And we left the stage.

My friends knew my condition, so they cheered me up and decided to leave the place.

Now when I think of that moment, I wonder, why I acted so stupid. I could have used some presence of mind and shown some courage to speak.